More Easter 2013

Sunday morning we took our time at home and prepared for the busy day ahead of us.  Usually we go to the Sunrise Service, but this year we decided to stay home and take it a bit easier. The kids go all dressed up in their Easter outfits and we headed off to church.  (I didn't get any pictures of the kids all dressed up as my camera was at Grandma and Grandpa Schlatter's house from the day before.  But, you will see Abi's outfit, and if you imagine the boys in khakis then you'll pretty much have the idea.)

After lunch at Grandma and Grandpa's, we all headed over to our house where the Farmer and his brother had hidden all the eggs around our house for the Cousin's Egg Hunt.  Following are some pictures of that:

Kids gathering around the building to wait their turn.

Jonny and Cousin E starting off on their hunt.

Ethan gathering his eggs.

(he had already lost his yellow bucket so we had to use a sack instead)

Cousin C and Ethan starting off on their hunt.

Here is Abi.  Her dress was a yellow bling chiffon with a linen skirt and white shrug.

Abi and Cousin B looking for eggs.  

Grandma Schlatter off to help some of the other kids.

The guys really hid the eggs well.  They went ALL over the yard trying to find them.  

They even had to go under the trees and around the tall grass behind the chicken coop.

The Farmer and I were very thankful for the blessings of the day.  After everyone gave up on finding eggs, there was a time of playing with the bat and ball, and then everyone went home and took naps.  It was so nice to have a relaxing holiday and to remember that Jesus came and died to forgive us.  Forgive us of our sins, our mistakes, and our weaknesses.

Copyright © 2013 All Rights Reserved MMFarmlife - Melanie Schlatter

Easter 2013

Can it seriously be Easter again already?

This year it has snuck up on me totally unprepared...well, maybe not totally but fairly close anyway.  At least I do have our Easter outfits and a few eggs to hunt with the Cousins come Sunday.

This morning I spent the time cleaning up a bit and then baking He is Risen Rolls for after the Sunrise Service tomorrow.  I think we are going to try to make it to that, but we will see when the morning comes.  After lunch, the kids and I headed to Lebanon where they have the city Egg Hunt hosted by the 4-H club.  I got a few pictures of this year's goings on:

The kids did a great job standing around waiting for the hunt...it is always so hard to wait!

Ethan was so excited....he kept coming back to me and saying "I ready Mom...I ready."

Silly Jonny...wearing his basket as a hat.

The kids were to stay on the sidewalk until the hunt began...it was a hard temptation.

This  year I stood close to Ethan for quite a while during the hunt.  

He had so much fun finding candy and eggs.

After the little kids found 8 eggs and whatever candy they had on the ground, 

the big kids got to go find the rest. Here Ethan and Jonny were sitting and perusing their take.

Jonny looking funny.

Abi gathering eggs.

Grandma taking pictures of Nathan hunting eggs.

After the hunt...the kids enjoyed playing for awhile.  I wish I would have thought to bring my book or my laptop...we could have stayed all afternoon...well, except for E's nap that is.

Cousin B is doing the swinging thing above and Cousin E below is hunting candy.

Nate and Cousin B playing on the new teeter-totter toy.

Jonny Swinging on the Round thingy...

Cousin E and Abi on the bouncy thingy.

Don't you just love all my official terminology! Sorry...I don't know what those things are called...I just know the kids have fun playing on them.j

Well, after E gets up from his nap, we will head over the Grandma Schlatter's to decorate eggs and then there is a soup supper in town I think we'll go to.  Then hopefully to bed and up early for a beautiful Sunrise Service.

P.S. I have to say that the idea of Resurrection and heaven have a new meaning to me this year.  The sacrifice God made for us in giving His only Son to die for me; and the hope in knowing that our lives don't end at the grave, because Jesus overcame both death and the grave, is completely illuminated in a different light this year.  Because of His sacrifice, I have the hope of not only being with Jesus for all eternity, but Sarah too!

Copyright © 2013 All Rights Reserved MMFarmlife - Melanie Schlatter

My New Toy

I am so excited!

After years of waiting, the Farmer finally agreed to get me a laptop!  After doing some research and pacing the store in deliberation, I finally chose the Acer Aspire M - Touchscreen.  Here is a picture of what it looks like:

Abi has informed me several times over the last few days how spoiled I am.  I don't know if I'm spoiled, blessed, or what exactly, but I know I am extremely thankful.  I am hoping that now that I have the laptop I can get back into writing, blogging, and various other things.  I have a few photo books that I've promised that need to be completed.  

Anyway, I hope you are all doing well and I hope I will be able to keep you up to date more readily now.

Copyright © 2013 All Rights Reserved MMFarmlife - Melanie Schlatter

Ethan's Birthday

Here are the pictures I promised of Ethan's Birthday.

Grandma and Grandpa Schlatter came to have cake with us.

After singing Happy Birthday, Ethan leaned over and blew out his candle.

That was about the most interaction he had with his cake...

because he wouldn't eat any of it!

After cake...we went to open presents.  Grandma Makey sent a homemade card, Bob the Builder Coloring Pages and crayons.  Ethan was so taken by it that he had to color a picture before he opened any of his other presents.  You can see here that he has a present waiting, but he is busy coloring.

After he colored a bit, he opened Abi's gift...

a homemade pillow case she made with Grandma Schlatter.

Oh...here is a picture of the card Grandma Makey made him.

After Abi's present, he opened Grandma & Grandpa Schlatter's gift...his own farm quilt.

He didn't want to put it down...and after Nathan got his pillow from upstairs, he made himself  a little bed and laid down on it...it was quite adorable.

Next he went onto Aunt K and Uncle M's gift.  He barely had a chance to look at it as the other kids swept in and took over, but later he had a great time exploring the magnetic barn with all its doors and animals.

Finally he got to the presents from the Farmer and I.  

The farmer thought Legos would be the best gift for him, so he got several sets and a carrying case to keep them in.  Again, the older kids had a hard time keeping their hands away from all of Ethan's news toys!

The next morning, the older kids all went to Grandma's house to play with the cousins who where visiting and Ethan had a great time playing with his Legos all by himself!

Overall, I think he had a good day...thanks to all those who called or sent cards.  

Copyright © 2013 All Rights Reserved MMFarmlife - Melanie Schlatter

Ethan's Cake

This year for his 3rd birthday E requested a Bob the Builder riding Thomas the Train because those are his 'favits'. Thinking both might be a bit over the top, I told him I would do Bob the Builder as we have already done several Thomas'.

As usual, I looked around on the Internet and Pinterest and I found a couple of inspiring pictures. Below I have included those as well as the finished product. The fondant I used was indeed soft and didn't hold the shape as long as I would have liked, but it still looks cute. I hope you enjoy!

P.s. I will try to post other birthday pics after the cake eating tomorrow.

6 Months

Tomorrow is six months.

Six months since the absolutely worst day of my life. Granted it had moments of joy, but those were so grossly overshadowed by the tragedy of it all that it is hard to remember the utter joy of having Sarah placed in my arms just moments after her birth (something I never got with my other children). The joy of remembering those moments without the drug induced grog or the various other side effects of surgery...like pain, itching, ivs, immobility.

But though I do have a few joyful memories (as few and fleeting as they are), they are quickly replaced with the loss of not being able to nurse my daughter. Of not hearing her first cry. Of the dreaded realization that she wasn't breathing. Of remember how it felt to have her torn from my arms. Of visions of her being resuscitated and the knowing that I would never see her beautiful face again without those tubes until she was gone from us - and then so utterly changed from all the fluid and treatments.

I know people question our decision. I know people blame us for their loss and pain - something they believe they would not have had to suffer had we not been so adamant on trying a natural birth. Sure, they don't say anything directly to us...knowing we are hurting, but the fact remains it is there...every time they talk to us, every look they give, every question they pose. It's there. "Why didn't you listen to us?" "We told you this was a bad idea." "Why did you have to push it so far?"

I know they can't understand the trapped and fearful feelings I had, being forced into another c-section. I know they can't understand the selfish motivations I harbored in wanting to experience birth the way God intended it. I know they can't understand how I lost sight of the preciousness of life...taking for granted that I would just be granted the blessing of the life I carried for 9 months.

I know all of this with great shame, but there is nothing I can do to change it. I am utterly powerless to make right all the wrong I committed against those my actions hurt...utterly powerless! And I live in fear daily of their scorn, judgement and rejection. And in saying that, I am quite positive in the same way, that those I speak of are quite unaware of this.

My heart is healing from the loss of my daughter. Yes, my arms still ache for her at times. I miss nuzzling her, dressing her, and even changing her. I miss the intimate time of nursing and even the sleepless nights of a newborn life. Yes, I miss my daughter greatly, but life has gone on and I no longer take for granted the lives I have been blessed with (or at least I try not to).

But I have not healed from the fear of the judgement of others. I am quite sure I am not to let it bother me as it does, but I can't help it. I have had so much rejection in my life, it is the one thing I fear the most and seem to experience in the same. I have no doubt God is working. I see His hand around me often. This tragedy has brought me to a new place. And I have no doubt that in this new place He will change me for His good. But I am as of yet, unsure how to deal with the unspoken judgements of others...for I know they exist.

I guess it will be in time...time in which God will have to work in my heart and the hearts of others. I trust Him. I trust His will and I trust that He will protect me and finish the healing in my heart He has started.

Six Months. Where will I be in the next six? Only our true God knows!